Whether you have been trying for a pregnancy, or you have discovered your partner is pregnant unexpectedly, it’s time to become a super-supportive partner!
During this time of huge changes, it’s totally normal to feel confused or apprehensive, but remember the changes that are happening to her body – she needs you to be strong for her too. One of the biggest mistakes that partners make when trying to be as supportive as possible, is waiting for her to tell you what she needs from you.
Instead, you need to take the initiative.
Like you, your partner is also trying to adapt to the news, whilst battling unstable hormones and body changes. So, how do you look after and take care of your partner during pregnancy? Here are some tips to help you be the most supportive partner you can possibly be.
Stay Positive
Your response to your partner’s pregnancy starts the moment she shares the news with you. Be careful about your response,as she will be reading your body language from that very moment! This can be tough, because in that very moment, how do you hide a look of shock or surprise that passes over your face? If it was unplanned, clear any doubts she may have about you being there for her and most of all do not blame her.
In the next nine months ensure that she has no fears about her pregnancy by keeping her positive. Don’t talk about any scare stories you’ve heard on the Internet or from a friend at work – your job is to cheer her up, encourage and support her.
Research and Educate Yourself
If you’re about to becomefirst-time parents,you’re going to have no point of reference on how to deal with pregnancy. Again, stay positive and encourage this to be a journey you’re taking together, rather than a terribly scary event, when you’re both thrown in at the deep end!You need to be ready to learn, in order to make your partner feel understood.
Health-related books and journals on pregnancy are great for learning the ins and outs of pregnancy, and will also help you understand what she’s going through to a certain extent, especially in terms of morning sickness and mood swings. This will also help you understand what is happening in each trimester, and make the whole thing much more exciting too!
If your partner is safe in the knowledge that you have information on board about pregnancy, she is going to be much calmer as a result, because she won’t feel like she’s dealing with it alone.
Be Available
Being available does not mean quitting your job or being by her side all the time, and to be honest, she probably wouldn’t want you to do that anyway; you’d drive yourselves crazy! Remember, she is pregnant, not sick. Instead, you can be present and available by taking her to the doctor for appointments, and perhaps going to antenatal classes together too.
Remember, actions speak louder than words when it comes to proving your presence and support.
Listen to Her
Your partner is going through a lot, so the chances are that at times she is going to nag and complain. You need to listen to her and also make her feel that you’re listening, really listening.
So, when she asks for cake in the middle of the night, be ready to make a run to her favorite all night store for the cake! Her demands will be outrageous at times, but they will make fun memories some day in the future!
Buy Gifts for Her and The Baby
A thoughtful gift every now and then is going to make your partner smile, for sure. So, as her body changes, how about buying her a new outfit which compliments her new, beautiful curves? This will make her feel that you accept her new body, and will give her confidence. Of course, buy presents for the baby, but don’t forget about her, she’s the one going through the pregnancy first hand!
Gain Weight Too
You might not like this one, but bear with us. Your partner’s weight gain will make her self-conscious, but it is also something you can support her with. Gain a few extra pounds with her! Put yourself in her place for a second, she is getting bigger and you’re remaining the same, or you’ve rather insensitively joined the gym and have started getting buff. Can you imagine how that will make her feel? Step up and add a little weight, just a little!
Of course, regular compliments about her body are a given, but actions are always better. After the baby is born, you can work together to lose the pounds too.
Be Kind and Sensitive
Your words and actions matter. You should by no means mention her weight or new habits such as sleeping and eating a lot. Remember – positive words only. If her habits are cause for concern, let her physician tell her, not you. Trust us, it will not go down well.
Whatever you think needs to be said, she already knows about it and does not need someone else pointing out.
Handle your Sex Drive
The truth is you will barely have sex with your partner during this period. Sorry, it’s true. Remember, it certainly isn’t that she no longer cares about your needs, it is because at the moment her energy is focused on handling the changes to her body, and it’s probable that sex will be the last thing on her mind.
Don’t panic though, as it is not the same throughout the nine months! There will be times when she experiences a sudden peak in her sex drive, so take advantage of that time!The rest of the time?Do yourself a favor and handle it on your own.
Stay Fresh
We are not insinuating that you smell or that you rarely have a shower, but when a woman is pregnant, her are stronger; sometimes everything will stink! Some women can’t stand the smell of their partner’s sweat, so this means you need to clean up and stay fresh around her. In addition, you may also have to put away some of your colognes, soaps and pastes, if she hates the smell. Your partner’s comfort matters more than a fancy cologne.
If you can master these steps, you will be an award-winning, supportive partner.